Class with the Countess Blog

What Would the Countess Do? March 8, 2010

2010-03-12T06:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.okmagazine.com/2010/03/what-would-the-countess-do-when-to-play-dress-up-megan-fox-tells-too-much/

Team USA

2010-02-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

In 1976, when Dorothy Hamill won a gold medal in figure skating, every girl in my neighborhood wanted her haircut in the same short bob! This year, they must be dreaming of the Vonn-do. In a time when Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery and Tiger Wood’s infidelity dominates the news, it is refreshing to see that hard-work, dedication, honesty and perseverance pays off! I am so proud of Team USA’s athletes competing in Vancouver. It’s amazing how much inspiration they give to us all.

I’ll never forget when I won my first ski race on the bunny hill in Connecticut. I imagined myself as a future Olympian, sadly it wasn’t meant to be. Nonetheless, I got a medal that I proudly hung in my room. My parents were thrilled so I can’t imagine how proud the parents of our Olympians must be. Americans are in second place for all-time medals won during the winter Olympics although we send the largest contingent of athletes to compete. I have a feeling this statistic is going by the wayside after gold-medal performances by Bode Miller and Lindsey Vonn in Alpine Skiing, Hannah Kearney in Freestyle Skiing, Shani Davis in Speed Skating, Shaun White and Seth Wescott in Snowboarding and Even Lysacek in Figure Skating…and it’s only day 11 of the games!

Having grown up with four brothers who were all athletes, I think I’ve played every sport possible and I respect the training and sacrifice it takes to represent our country. It takes an extremely committed family to raise an Olympian. I’m in awe of the countless miles they’ve traveled to meets and events, the money they’ve spent on equipment, lessons, hotel rooms, all because they believed that their son or daughter could be a world champion.

I want to thank all the Team USA athletes and their families for representing our country so beautifully. Keep up the great work. Go USA!

Valentine's Tips

2010-02-04T06:35:00.000-08:00

I always loved Valentine’s Day and you can too! Whether you are single, in a new relationship or have been with the same person for years, you can make Valentine’s Day fun and exciting. Being newly single, I’ve decided to try my luck in Paris. So resign your membership for good in the lonely-hearts club and if you can’t travel follow these tips:

If you are foot-loose and fancy-free this Valentines Day:

Gather your single girl and guy friends and have a night out on the town. Going out with guys always attracts more guys.

If you are in a new relationship remember to:

Pick the card that says how happy you are to have met this person rather than the card that says I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you!

If you are celebrating Valentine’s Day with your long-time love, take the opportunity this year to:

Plan a surprise romantic interlude, be unpredictable, and keep it fresh and exciting. Do something completely new together, have an adventure!

Happy Valentines Day!

With love,

Countess Luann

Samba Your Way Through Winter

2010-01-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else overindulge in food and drink over the holidays? All I did was eat, drink and Samba. I was in Brazil where it is not unusual for women to have nice full derrieres. Somehow it looks better on them then it does on me! I always say, don’t let go of the vision of yourself. By this I mean the vision of where you were or where you want to be. You have to decide what works for you.

In Brazil, it’s summer. I think it’s easier to be motivated when you don’t have to deal with the cold. It’s tempting when it’s freezing outside to stay inside and become sedentary. Remember, you’ve got to move! You have to expend energy to have energy. In Brazil, it’s Samba. Newton’s law of physics says that a body in motion stays in motion. It takes consistent exercise to stay in shape, especially as we age. So dance like a Brazilian.

I recently took Samba lessons to get ready for my trip to Brazil. If you can’t get to Samba, gyms are a great place to get started. Everyone is in the same place with the same goal, which is motivating. I integrate weight and cardio training with Pilates and yoga. In the winter, I still take long walks and when I’m in the city, I forgo cabs as much as possible. I carve out time for myself to exercise and as a result have energy and a positive outlook on life.

Exercise alone unfortunately is not enough to keep me in shape. When it’s cold like it is now, I feel like hibernating and eating osso bucco. Eating right coupled with physical activities can make all the difference. I try to stick to my Mediterranean diet, rich in seafood, vegetables and fruits. I eat a rainbow, which means that I eat foods of many colors.

Tip: Remember, it’s the wine or the bread, but not both. You decide? I personally choose the wine!

Seeking Celebrity?

2009-11-27T11:29:00.000-08:00

God knows we’ve all crashed a party before, but the Salahis went way too far. Lying to get into a White House dinner? Not only did they compromise national security by pulling this stunt, they also displayed incredibly bad manners.

It is not reality TV that is the problem here; it is the behavior of people who will do anything in the quest for celebrity while compromising their integrity; that is the issue. Celebrity based on outrageous behavior is fleeting, while a person’s recognition for good character is enduring. Sometimes we only get one chance to make a good impression.

My Tips for the Holidays

2009-11-25T12:33:00.000-08:00

I’m heading home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. It’s a treat for me to be a guest as I normally host the Thanksgiving meal. I love going to my brother’s house because he fries his turkey. Have you ever had fried turkey? It’s amazing.

Having grown up in a large, boisterous family, the holiday season meant big family dinners and many spirited debates disguised as conversation. I learned early on which subjects would incite passionate discussion and which topics were to be avoided at all cost. For example, you mustn’t comment on your bald brother-in-law’s surprising new head of hair.

As my family grows and changes, so does the composition of our holiday dinners. This year will be no different. So when I read the NY Times on November 19th and saw the article “Duck, It’s the Holidays”, I thought, I must share this with my readers.

In this article, Mark Smaller, of the American Psychoanalytic Association, said he believes that holidays can provoke “temporary regressions,” in which parents, adult children and siblings, once reunited, revert to decades-old patterns of behavior. Realizing that this might happen, it’s important to remember that disagreement can be expressed in polite ways such as “lets agree to disagree on that” or “thanks for sharing your thoughts with me." It’s not easy to override years of role-playing, but it can be done.

My secret for navigating the holidays with grace and tact is to remember that my family will always see me in a certain way, most of it positive but not all. In the end, I am simply Luann, the little sister.

I am grateful for my family and savor the time we have together. I hope you enjoy the article and Happy Holidays! Stay strong!

Tip: Remember, think twice before you speak. Less is more.

Here's a link to the NY Times article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html

Beyond the Wedding

2009-10-22T07:42:00.001-07:00

I could almost hear the wedding bells chiming at Bloomingdales when I appeared to sign books for the brides-to-be. The only thing missing was the grooms. It was a Very Special Registry event hosted by myself and Jorge Perez, the designer extraordinaire whose limited edition gowns are inspired by the rich heritage and romance of old Havana. I felt like Cinderella in the dress he made me. Joining us were David Beahm who designed the most gorgeous tablescapes and Ben Ron-Israel who presented exquisite cakes adorned with amazingly realistic sugar flowers. The setting was so gorgeous and the mood so enthusiastic and hopeful, that it made me want to get married (again)!

In the audience were glowing brides-to-be who came to hear me speak and in their hands was the Bloomingdales registry book that contains everything they could possibly need to be great hostesses. Bride and Knot were there as well to cover the event for their respective publications. I love the etiquette tips they provide preparing brides for one of the biggest days of their life. But manners and etiquette goes well beyond the wedding. It is about being a good hostess, a helpful guest and instilling manners in children because brides and their families are our future!

Being that it is October, I shared with the girls my way of remembering the essentials for hosting a great event. The O in October stands for Organized By being ready for your guests before they arrive, having the table set, food ready to serve in the refrigerator or oven, you can greet your guests with a glass of champagne in your hand and a cool and calm demeanor. The C is for Creative. With Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, the options are limitless for creative themes, color schemes, and seasonal menus. The T is for Time. A great hostess takes the time to make sure her guests are comfortable, are introduced to other guests and that they feel welcome in her home. Good guests can act as sub-hostesses by including others in conversation, helping serve or clean up.

Tip: You don’t have to host a formal dinner to entertain your friends. I love picnicking in the park, wine and cheese tastings with my girlfriends and costume parties. What is important that you are an attentive and welcoming hostess. Have a Happy Halloween!

The Gracious Child

2009-10-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

I know it’s hard to get a kid to sit down to write a thank you note, but the gesture is an important one that speaks volumes about how you are raising your children. My brother Paul came to visit us in the Hamptons with his family recently. His stepson Rinat, a budding journalist, wrote this article for his school newspaper. In it, he expresses his appreciation for his visit in such a sweet way. He also sent me a thank you note shortly after the visit.

“Visiting a Countess”

A few weeks ago, my family and I visited my step-aunt who lives in the Hamptons on Long Island. Her name is Luann, although most people know her as Countess Luann de Lesseps from the BRAVO television show, “The Real Housewives of New York City.” Luann is my step-dad’s sister so I figure that makes her my step-aunt.

Our journey started on the ferry to Orient Point, and then on two more ferries. My stepbrother and I kept asking “Are we there yet?” We finally pulled in her driveway, and I was amazed — her house was so big, I thought I was living in a dream! We were greeted by her dog, Aston, and welcomed by Luann and her children, Victoria and Noel. Victoria is 14 and you will see her on the show riding her horse, and Noel is 12, and you’ll see him riding his ATV in the yard.

Luann is also the author of a book titled, Class with the Countess, which was published earlier this year. Her book offers advice and tips on a number of subjects — from self-confidence to table settings. Luann and her children set a good example of “class” during our visit, and I can’t waitto visit them again soon. Visit Luann on Facebook — she’d love to hear from you!

Rinat Reed, Middlefield, Connecticut

I’m so proud of my step-nephew Rinat who took the time out of his busy life to write this article about our family. I was sent Rinat’s article with a nice photo via email. The way Rinat expressed his gratitude says a lot about my brother Paul and his new wife Denise.

Tip: Children can acknowledge generosity in many ways whether it is a phone call, an email or a hand written note, which is by far is the most impressive. It’s the gesture that matters.

Behavior Matters

2009-09-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

It’s disappointing when public figures behave rudely. We live in a fame-oriented society where children look up to celebrities and emulate their behavior. Just because someone is rich, famous or powerful doesn’t mean that they can behave rudely and hurt others.

This past week, we’ve seen Kanye West disrespect Taylor Swift on national television. What was he thinking? He stole her moment and cannot give it back, no matter how much he apologizes. We also witnessed Serena Williams berating a tennis judge after disagreeing with a call. She could have let the judge know that she was unhappy with the call without being threatening. Even Kanye and Serena’s most ardent fans may lose respect for them after their outbursts.

Did you see Representative Joe Wilson shout “You Lie” while the President was giving a speech on healthcare reform? Whatever your opinion is on the healthcare issue, we can all agree that Wilson’s behavior was very rude and unacceptable.

Kanye, Serena, and Congressman Wilson have personally and publicly apologized for their rude behavior, which I commend. Although we all make mistakes and no one is perfect, these three incidents were completely unnecessary and could have been avoided.

Tip: You must tread carefully when you are dealing with differences of opinion. Open-minded people can discuss anything without tempers flaring.

Passionate Politics

2009-08-19T14:21:00.000-07:00

I was so pleased when Fox News’s Neil Cavuto invited me on his show to discuss the public debate over health care reform. As a nurse, I understand how passionate people become when it comes to their health and the health of their families. And while I think free speech is vitally important to the discussion, I do feel that manners are essential so that both sides have a chance to make their case without the distraction of intolerance. Here are my suggestions:

Don’t interrupt people while they are speaking; give others a chance to express their opinions.
Keep an open mind and listen to what people have to say.
Don’t be judgmental, when you judge you are not listening.
Respect people’s opinions the way you would like them to respect yours.

Below is a link to my appearance on Neil’s show.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ0y_sq5AM4

A Great Party Versus A Good Party

2009-07-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

I mean really, aren’t hostesses supposed to be more attentive to guests than to what they wear? I think people are so caught up in themselves they’ve forgotten the art of good entertaining; introducing people to each other, making sure they have something good to drink, and above all making guests feel comfortable.

I went to a party one time where the hostess was so busy getting photos done with her guests that we were left without food or good music (thank heaven there was a bar). Music and food is key to the atmosphere and can make or break a party for me.

Just think if your next hostess were to break into song like the good old days when people gathered around the piano. My friends know I’m usually good for a song or two. And food is always a priority for me; I find buffets work best, as so many people these days have weird food preferences and unheard of allergies (and it’s a heck of a lot easier). Buffets eliminate having to sit next to someone you don’t really want to talk to while waiting for your food to arrive.

If the hostess chooses a seated dinner, then I find it’s nice if the hostess seats me either next to herself if I haven’t been in her home before or next to someone amusing (dirty jokes come to mind?) Remember the good old days when people told jokes? One-liners are my favorite rather than those long drawn out stories, which only few people can tell and still get laughs.

Strategically, there is a way to invite so you have most amusing people mixed with the somewhat amusing and even then you may have to pick up the slack. And whoever says we shouldn’t talk religion or politics? I find these conversations to be the most heated and fun of all because you learn a lot more, especially about couples. When in doubt about what to talk about there is always the weather or traffic, which are boring, unless it’s a story from hell about driving through a storm. It’s always fun to gossip about people but keep it to minimum and make sure it’s good gossip, not mean gossip... you know the difference, right?

Tip: Socialize with everyone. Your job is to help the hostess create a party atmosphere. I can’t wait for the next dinner party!

Summer Camp

2009-07-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

I think I suffered more than my kids ever did when I sent them off to camp for the first time. I lost more sleep than any kid who suffers from the worst case of homesickness. Just when I thought they couldn’t live without me; I found that they actually could (with someone else playing Nurse Ratched). Just minutes ago I was telling them to put their napkins on their laps for the millionth time and cleaning up spilt milk from the floor and now I’m sending them away for a month without me.

Is camp really that good for them? My daughter, in her fight not to go said “just look at bleep, she talks back to her mom since she’s gone to camp.” I rebuffed with “once a talker backer always a talker backer.” I mean obviously there were some issues with this girl before she packed her pistols for camp, or did camp foster her defiant attitude?

What do I know about camp? Absolutely nothing, I grew up with six brothers and sisters. Who needed camp when you could get hit in the face with a baseball at home? So this is what happened. Two weeks into camp I got my children’s call asking to come home early (my new found peace soon to be taken away, not to mention $15,000 in fees later). I considered my options. After all, camp is not punishment, it’s supposed to be fun, right?

The kids stayed the whole month and survived the experience. I think in the end it’s important to tame children in a world where they seem to run around telling the gate keepers what to do and where to go. Let someone else be the bad guy for a while. Let them learn how to live amongst their peers and pick up after them selves while you’re at it. Let them be appreciative of where they live so they can understand that one doesn’t always do what one wants, a lesson I think is important to learn. I do understand why they haven’t gone back to camp this summer. Who would want to leave this glorious zoo called the Hamptons after all?

Beach Etiquette

2009-07-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

When I was in St. Tropez last week, I brought my kids to the beach and they commented on the women who tend to go topless. It’s very hard when you’re in a foreign country to really know what to expect when you go to the beach. What I do know is that my 12-year old son Noel was totally not into looking at the sagging breasts of some of the older women basking in the sun.

To address any confusion about public nudity, I explained to my kids that in France it’s quite customary for women to go topless on the beach and that they have to be open-minded. I'll never forget the first time I was guilted into going topless. I was 23 at the time and living in Italy (where it is also not unusual to go topless) and I looked like a weirdo with the only top on the beach. So I took it off and you know what? It was liberating! When you speak to your children about these customs, I find the Adam and Eve story comes in handy.

What a great time to be free and back in Europe. I got to practice my French (which one needs to practice once in a while). The ocean was like the Caribbean, beautiful, clear turquoise water and no jellyfish. Yeah!! I spent a lot of time on the beach and thought how it’s funny that no matter where you are, America, Europe or Asia the same rules still apply when it comes to beach etiquette. Here are some tips to make the most of out of your next beach day:

Know your beach before you go. Some beaches are conservative, for singles, family-oriented, clothes optional or nudist. Choose your beach wisely so you don’t encounter any surprises, pleasant or otherwise.
Wear a cover-up over your bathing suit until you are actually on the sand. Choose a suit that flatters your body and that goes with the vibe of the beach. What goes in Brazil may not be appropriate for Connecticut and may even get you arrested.
In your beach bag bring sunblock, water, towel, a good book or magazine, a hat, a camera and a small change purse for your money. Leave your license, passport and other official identifications locked in your car or in your hotel room.
I believe in the five-foot rule when setting up your place on the beach. Make sure that there is at least five feet between your stuff and your neighbor’s. Try not to block other people’s view of the water and remember to set up in back of the high tide mark so you don’t awake to a soaked towel and your cooler floating away.
Noise carries on the wind so there is no need to raise your voice while on the beach. Also, keep music low enough for just your group to hear it. I know that denying others your amazing beach playlist may seem cruel but trust me on this, music is personal.
Frisbee, football, and beach volleyball are all great games for the beach but set up away from where people are sunbathing.
Shake out your towels and blankets away from your beach neighbors.
Leave only your footprints behind.

Tip: Do us all a favor, unless you are twenty or Eva Longoria, wear your cover-up to go to the beach bar.

When in Rome...

2009-06-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

I’ve finally been able to get away after a fun but crazy season of the Real Housewives of New York City and the kick off of my book tour. It was time for a much-needed break, although promoting my book has been a savior to me. It’s kept me very busy with appearances and I have more dates scheduled when I return nice and rested from the south of France.

Why not go explore other countries? You can always go back home. Remember being interested is what makes you interesting. Take chances and follow your instincts. Travel makes us look outside ourselves and our everyday concerns and elevates our sensibilities and compassion for others. It increases our sense of wonder and intensifies the pleasure we find in the familiar.

I’ve always been curious and willing to learn from everything and everyone. My older brothers and sisters can attest to my adventurous nature and to the fact that my fearlessness got me into some sticky situations that required their first aid skills when I was young. I haven’t changed much since then but instead of climbing tall trees to see what is out beyond, I have the good fortune to fly to foreign lands. I think travel is a great way to look beyond ourselves and our everyday lives especially if we immerse ourselves in the culture that we are visiting.

I have some suggestions that will greatly enhance your travel experiences.

Before you go, learn a few key phrases in the language and you will receive warmer welcomes. Be able to say “hello”, “goodbye”, “thank you” and “excuse me”.
Learn about the country before you arrive by reading a guidebook or using online resources. Familiarize yourself with customs that are different than ours.
Dress nicely everywhere you go, including on the plane. Sweat suits are never appropriate. Instead, wear comfortable wrinkle resistant knits.
Learn the currency so that your transactions go more smoothly and so that you can bargain for items you must have.
Try native cuisines and gather recipes for dishes you loved to share with friends back home.
Carry a card from your hotel with you when you are out and about, especially if you don’t speak the language.
Keep track of your passport and money at all times. Losing either can turn a fun trip into a bureaucratic nightmare.
Remember to show respect to everyone you meet on your travels. That alone can go a long way to dispel the reputation of Americans as uncouth travelers.

Tip: You only live once so save your money, be adventurous and explore the unknown.

Eating Well

2009-06-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

For me, food is one of life’s great pleasures. I believe that eating is a celebration and is sensual. Eating well is one of my secrets to a healthier and happier life. By slowing down and taking the time to enjoy your food, you will have better skin, a slimmer figure and radiant health.

My kitchen in the Hamptons is a gathering place for my friends and family. I take the time to create a relaxed atmosphere where we can savor our meals together. It doesn’t take a lot of money or culinary talent to bring joy and happiness to your meals if you share them with the people you love.

When I’m not on the run, I begin each day by having a healthy breakfast with my children. We have a fruit salad and cereal or whole grain toast with juice and tea. I eat lean proteins and vegetables for lunch and dinner. I do not go long without eating and always eat when I’m hungry. I swear by a light snack in the afternoon to curb hunger so that I don’t eat like a bear at dinner. Healthy snacks with an emphasis on protein take longer to digest and will fill you up longer. I like low-fat yogurt, string cheese, or a few nuts.

Denying yourself what you crave is a sure way to over indulge. When I crave sweets, I eat a Xochai dark chocolate square. A piece of fruit or some berries is also a good option. I just read that ripe plums and prunes can prevent bone loss and also may be able to reverse it. In general, the darker the fruit’s skin, the higher the antioxidants within. I guess that is why I like red wine so much.

Listen to what your body tells you. There are thousands of diet and nutrition books out there all touting different strategies to reach the same goals, a healthy weight and body. I like the Blood Type Diet, because I think each person is actually a carnivore or an herbivore. Since I have Type O blood, I need more meat and my body craves it. Nonetheless, I limit how much red meat I eat and concentrate my protein in cheese, chicken, pork, fish and seafood. And I eat my veggies.

Michelle Obama with the help of her girls and an elementary school class just planted an organic kitchen garden on the White House lawn. The Obama’s will be eating a rainbow this summer and so will my family. Lucky for me there are farmer’s markets and fresh produce stands all over the Hamptons. To find a farmer’s market or stores and restaurants selling locally produced food near you, go to www.localharvest.org.

Tip: Drink twenty minutes before or after a meal. People have a tendency to wash their food down with a beverage rather than chewing each bite thoroughly and allowing the enzymes to begin their work. Instead, sip a glass of red wine with your dinner. Enjoy!

Skin Care

2009-06-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

I view taking care of my appearance as a chance to pamper myself. After last week’s blog on Beauty Tips was published, I received many questions about my skin care regimen, specifically how I take care of my skin and the products I use.

I treat myself to a deep cleansing facial once a month at the Yasmine Djerradine Spa in New York. Just a short walk from Barneys, this Moroccan inspired spa is a peaceful sanctuary from my fast-paced life.

If a professional facial is out of your budget, don’t worry. There are plenty of products in your drugstore or supermarket designed to treat any skin type. Olay has some great products and my daughter Victoria is a big fan.

You can pamper your skin at home by following these guidelines for a simple at-home facial. This whole process takes less than 45 minutes. Carve out this time for yourself each month regardless of how busy you are. You are worth it!

Lock the bathroom door, lower the lights, burn scented candles and put on some soft, restful music.
Wash your face gently with a cleanser, cream or mild soap. Rinse with warm water.Steam your skin over a bowl of hot water. Carefully lean over the bowl and drape a towel over your head to trap the steam. Be careful not burn yourself.
Next, exfoliate gently with a scrubbing product or a slightly rough washcloth. Rinse the exfoliating product away with warm water. Pat your skin dry with a soft towel.
Apply a mask of your choice, remembering to choose the correct product for your skin type. Set a timer for ten or fifteen minutes and hope your kids don’t interrupt, but they will, that is why in Step 1, you locked the door.
Rinse with cool water and feel how smooth your skin is.

Each day, it is important to cleanse, tone, moisturize and protect your skin with sunscreen. Don’t forget your décolletage and the backs of your hands. Remember to remove your makeup before bed each night so your skin can breathe.

Right now, I’m using these products in my daily skin care regimen. You can pick them up at any department store or online.

Cleanser: B. Kamins Chemist, Vegetable Skin Cleanser (all-in-one cleansing and makeup removal).
Toner/Exfoliation: Biologique Recherche Paris, Lotion P50 (just a few drops on a cotton pad balances skin and reduces pores).
Day Cream: Intraceuticals, Rejuvenate Moisture Binding Cream (locks in moisture and prevents environmental damage).
Night Cream: B. Kamins Chemist, Menopause Skin Cream (provides the skin with vital nutrients lost during peri-menopause and menopause).
Eye Cream: Revision, Teamine Eye Complex (reduces under eye darkness while moisturizing).
Mask: Biologique, Masque Vivant (mask balances skin, reduces pores, controls sebum).
Sunscreen: Laroche-Posay, Anthelios XL SPF 50+ Melt in tinted cream.
Eye Makeup Remover: Clinique Rinse Off Eye Makeup Solvent, the blue bottle.

Tip: Here is my Skin Mask Recipe – use three times per week for vibrant skin.

1-Tablespoon Biologique Masque Vivant
1-Teaspoon Lotion P50
½ Teaspoon Baking Soda

Mix ingredients together and apply to face. Relax. Leave on for ten to fifteen minutes. You can rinse the mask off in the shower or in the sink with cool water. I prefer to shower since it’s a pretty sticky mask.

Beauty Tips

2009-06-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

Less is always more. Especially when it comes to makeup! A chic woman always draws attention to herself without ever being obvious.

I learned by living in New York and abroad in Europe that French women appear to wear little or no makeup but in fact are dedicated to cosmetics and passionate about beauty products. French woman adhere to the rule of “never too much of anything.”

Coco Chanel once said, “The best color in the whole world, is the one that looks good on you!” How true this is. Makeup artists at department stores will gladly match your skin tone to foundation, blusher and eye shadow.

When I was modeling in New York, I would sometimes stop at a department store before a date to have my makeup done. If you are planning a special evening, why not have your face made up by a professional? I always tipped the makeup artists and made many friends at a number of counters. I was always welcomed back.

I can’t say enough how important it is to sample makeup before purchasing. My good friend and mentor, Princess Hohenlohe, used to leave a department store with bags of samples. She could afford to buy any cosmetic she wanted but was a careful shopper. Samples are there for the taking, so don’t be shy. You will ultimately save money by purchasing what works for you instead of cluttering up your makeup bag with the wrong products.

People tell me all the time how natural I look. I achieve a healthy, glowing look by emphasizing my cheekbones with bronzer. If you have gorgeous eyes, play them up with eyeliner and mascara. If you have full, luscious lips, select a sexy red lipstick and apply less eye makeup.

A general rule is that if you are accentuating your eyes with dark or bright makeup; go with a light lip color. If you choose to play up your lips, keep the eye makeup to a minimum.

Unless you live in the Sun Belt, you should have summer and winter makeup, especially foundation and blusher or bronzers.

What you’ll find in my makeup bag:

• Liquid Foundation: Armani #7
• Bronzing Powder: Chanel
• Eyebrow Pencil: Chanel
• Mascara: Lancôme
• Eyeliner Pencil: Chanel
• Lip Gloss: Chanel

Tip: Try all kinds of makeup, and don’t be afraid to change. Your makeup doesn’t have to be wildly expensive. You can find wonderful cosmetics in the drugstore. Find what works for you and stick with it – day and night, summer and winter.

Fine Dining

2009-05-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

I love dining out. Last week, I went to Graydon Carter’s new restaurant Monkey Bar and had a wonderful time. The food was fabulous and the décor divine. The well-dressed diners didn’t drag their coats to the table nor did I hear any cell phones during our meal. The most elegant restaurants make you feel as if you are eating in a private home.

The Monkey Bar’s maitre d’ sat our party at a terrific table against the wall, which I prefer, instead of in the middle of the room. We had a great view of the entire scene. What do you do if you find yourself being led to a table by the restrooms, the kitchen, too close to a workstation or too near a colleague? Simply ask the maitre d’ or the hostess if another table is available. If possible, most restaurants will try to accommodate you. When you make the reservation ask for a table in the location you want – on the terrace, in the front room or the back, upstairs or down, perhaps a booth.

I’ll never forget the time I was dining with my father-in-law, Victor Comte de Lesseps, an ambassador and gourmand, at the Amstel in The Hague. He knew exactly what he preferred and sent back food to the kitchen often, much to our great embarrassment. When the waiter brought him a filleted fish, he lost his temper and shouted, “I ordered fish with a head and a tail. I want the whole fish”. Needless to say, he got what he wanted but made us uncomfortable in the process. It is better to discreet when sending food back.

Here are a few restaurant faux pas that you should avoid:

Taking your coat, umbrellas, shopping bags, and briefcases to the table. Check them when you enter.
Putting your phone on the table. Leave it on vibrate and keep it out of sight.
Use your inside voice. You don’t want to disturb others, and you certainly don’t want people to eavesdrop. You never know who is listening.
Calling out or snapping your fingers to get the attention of your server. If a quiet “excuse me” or a subtle gesture doesn’t work, ask a busboy or the maitre d’ to send your waiter over.
Your purse belongs on your lap, the floor or on an empty seat.
Picking up anything you drop. Just get the attention of the waiter or busboy and ask him for a replacement fork or whatever has fallen.
Brushing crumbs or stacking plates. That’s what wait staff is for.

Tip: Despite what your mother told you about keeping your elbows off the table at all times, it is acceptable between courses. Leaning forward a bit on your elbows shows that you are listening with interest.

The Gracious Guest

2009-05-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

As much as I love being a host, I adore being a guest when a great hostess is running the show! There is nothing like kicking back and going with the flow. I remember to acknowledge the effort and planning that goes into hosting me, beginning with promptly responding to the invitation and asking if there is anything I can bring or if I can help with the event.

Once I accept an invitation, I do not cancel unless there is an unavoidable conflict such as a sudden illness or a family crisis such as losing a pet. I am a dependable guest who a hostess can count on showing up. If you really can’t accept an invitation for whatever reason, call with your sincere regrets. Don’t go into a detailed explanation of why you can’t attend. You should respond to your host as soon as possible so someone else can go in your place.

Many invitations will tell you what to wear, such as “black tie” or “casual”. If the invitation does not explain the dress, call your hostess and ask. When in doubt about what to wear, it is always better to arrive overdressed. A simple black dress goes everywhere and will make you look chic and elegant. You’ll be the best dressed at the barbeque!

I like to arrive within fifteen minutes of the time on the invitation so that I can actually enjoy a conversation with my hosts before they become too busy. It is respectful to be on time. For a structured event like a dinner party, you should be no more than fifteen minutes late.

Here are some tips for being a gracious guest:

Respond to the RSVP ASAP, no later than a week or by the RSVP date.
Arrive on time. If you are going to more than fifteen minutes late to a small gathering, call with the “I’ll be there in five” line.
Cancel only if it’s an emergency.
Bring a hostess gift – don’t arrive empty handed.
Socialize with everyone. Your job is to help the hostess create a party atmosphere.
Participate enthusiastically in any activities suggested by the host – party games and singing come to mind.
Offer to help your hostess during the party or for clean up (hope she’ll say no).
Discretely thank your hostess for a wonderful time when you leave. Don’t interrupt her on the dance floor.
Call the next day or send a note to thank your hosts. If it was a real shindig, send flowers.
Reciprocate your hosts’ hospitality by inviting them to your parties.

Tip: Never complain or explain. If you accept an invitation, go with the flow and participate enthusiastically.

Packing the Perfect Weekend Bag

2009-05-13T13:04:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend is almost here! I’ve always considered this weekend to be the beginning of summer and I’m looking forward to hosting guests at our home in the Hamptons. Because I travel frequently, I can pack a weekend bag in fifteen minutes or less. That’s how easy it should be. Packing the perfect bag is essential to go from the pool or beach, to lunch, shopping and then out for the evening.

If you are flying, everything you bring must fit in a carry-on bag including toiletries in 3 oz. sizes or less and if you are driving, one small suitcase should suffice, especially if you are traveling with other people. Your travel outfit should consist of the bulkiest items that would take up space in your weekend bag. Wear your blazer, boots or thick-soled shoes rather than trying to pack them. Must haves:

• T-shirts/tailored cotton shirt
• Jeans
• Light sweater
• Fun blouse
• Dress that travels well in a solid color jersey or knit and is basic so you can accessorize.
• Skirt
• Accessories that can easily mix with everything.
• Ballet flats
• Dress shoes/sandals
• Flip flops
• Bathing suit and cover up
• Pajamas that work outside your bedroom in case the bathroom entrance is in the hall.
• Travel toiletries

Tip: Getting ready for the weekend doesn’t have to be a headache. You will get the best mileage from clothes that are simple and classic. Remember, having too many things to choose from can be confusing and that less is always more.

Mother's Day

2009-05-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Seduction doesn’t apply only to love and romance. Maintaining positive relationships with our mothers takes the same kind of effort we put into our best friendships. We want our daily encounters with other people including our mothers to work in a satisfying way. We need to be attentive, caring, considerate and appreciative every day, not just on Mother’s Day.

In our busy lives, we have to make time to see each other, support each other, and generally be good to each other. This weekend, I’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day with my children in the Hamptons. Unfortunately, I won’t be with my mother since she will be spending the holiday with my brothers and sisters and their families in Connecticut. I plan to send her a huge bouquet of flowers and a note reminding her how much I love and admire her. I try to let my mother know how special she is on a regular basis by calling and visiting her often and planning memorable outings for her to enjoy.

A few months ago, I brought my mother back stage to meet Celine Dion. For a French-Canadian woman like my mom, meeting Celine Dion was a night she will never forget. We both had an amazing time that night and I was so grateful to share that experience with her.

Presents are a big part of Mother’s Day. I certainly enjoy thoughtful gifts from my own children like when they make me handmade cards. Here are some gift ideas for the mothers in your life:

• A donation to your mother’s favorite charity in her name.
• Flowers or potted plants.
• Personal services – massage, spa and salon services.
• Gift baskets filled with thematic items – a gardening basket with gloves, clogs, seeds and a gift certificate to a fabulous garden center; a beach basket filled with sun block, beach towels, flip flops and a cover-up; cheese, wine and a cookbook for the gourmet.
• Monogrammed bathrobe.
• Gift certificate to her favorite restaurant.
• Plane or train tickets to come visit you.
• Scented candles.

The world is a happier place if people are glad to see you and respond to you with real warmth and enthusiasm. There is no kindness more basic than to be open and responsive to the feelings of others including your mother. And there is nothing more special than a mother’s love. I wish you a very happy Mother’s Day that is filled with the priceless gifts of love, health and happiness.

Tip: The secret to winning people over is to be attentive, caring, considerate and appreciative.

Starting a Conversation

2009-04-29T09:21:00.001-07:00

I’ve had a terrific time this past week at my New York and Connecticut book appearances! So many of you have turned out to hear me speak about my life and how important manners and etiquette are to me. You’ve truly inspired me with your rapt attention, your heartfelt laughter, and your thoughtful questions. Part Two of my book “Class with the Countess” is entitled The Art of Making Other People Comfortable and you have made me feel so at ease during these appearances. I want to thank everyone who has come out to see me and I encourage you to keep in touch as I post more appearance dates on my web page.

My experience is that a sense of humor and not taking myself too seriously helps me break down barriers and connect with people. Even I get the butterflies before speaking in front of a group but I remember my mentor Honey saying to me “just get out there and do it”. That’s why having mentors is so important. Being able to talk to anybody about anything is one of the prerequisites of moving through life with ease. If you feel at all out of your element, like at a party where you know few people, it is very important to make an effort to introduce yourself to others. That is why a good opening line can break the ice with people you don’t know well. Your mission is to uncover something interesting about each person you meet in order to initiate a conversation. The good news is that starting a conversation gets easier the more often you do it.

Fail Proof Opening Lines:

• How do you know our hosts?
• Are you doing anything special for the weekend?
• Did you read that recent Times article about ____ ?
• Have you had time to catch that new George Clooney movie?
• Isn’t this a great party? Do you know many people here?
• What a lovely ring. Is that an antique? The craftsmanship is exquisite.
• Did you get hooked on The Real Housewives of New York City? I hear they are working on another season.

Tip: There is never a reason to stand alone at a cocktail party or large reception. Just go up to someone and introduce yourself. Chances are that person will be relieved by your attention.

An Uncluttered Life

2009-04-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Lately, my life has been pretty hectic! Between promoting my book “Class with the Countess” in bookstores, on talk shows and in the media, shooting the Real Housewives of NYC Reunion show and taking care of my children, I haven’t had time to change my nail polish not to mention change out my winter clothing for spring, a task I usually accomplish by now. What does keep me sane during these extremely busy times is that I’m very organized and so is my closet. I can pull myself together for any type of event in fifteen minutes or less because I keep my clothing and accessory choices simple, classic and in good repair. By taking the time to organize your clothing and accessories, you will save a ton of time and money in the long run by utilizing what you already have.

Many people have reached out to me for fashion advice because they just can’t seem to pull it all together without getting stressed out. What I have done and suggest everyone do, is build a look around a core wardrobe of basic, high quality pieces that can be embellished with jewelry, scarves, and belts. You can never have too many accessories because they help define your personal style. I love cocktail rings and big-statement necklaces. Hair ornaments, especially silk or fresh flowers, are another personal favorite of mine in summer. Remember those huge sunglasses I wore last summer in the Hamptons? I felt like such a diva. Fashion is fun and it allows me to be creative and chic.

My father used to say to me “The simple life is the best life”. I took what he said to heart and now know that having too much too choose from can be confusing. I edit my closets each season with an eye to what can be worn now, what is worth holding onto and what items can be given away. Here are some of my wardrobe essentials:

1. A pair of great jeans – preferably dark.
2. A white long or three-quartered-sleeved tailored shirt – Cotton with spandex for a good fit is the most versatile choice.
3. A black dress – A sleeveless sheath is elegant. If you don’t have the upper arms or body for it, select a style with sleeves.
4. A blazer – A blazer is the perfect way to dress up jeans.
5. T-shirts – If you want to dress up your look, throw a staple jacket over a tee. Add a statement necklace or a scarf.
6. An everyday and an evening handbag – don’t drag out your everyday bag to dinner.
7. High heels, boots and ballet flats – There is no reason to attract too much attention to your feet. Comfort is key.

Tip: If you consider your basics a blank canvas, then your accessories are the paint. Keep your accessories well organized so you can look them over quickly to make your selection. Don’t forget your sunglasses!

Book Launch

2009-04-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

On April 16th, my book “Class with the Countess” will be available in bookstores nationwide. To say this is an exciting time for me would be an understatement. I have always wanted to write a book and have been keeping my memoirs in diaries since 1990 when I moved to Europe to pursue my career as a model. It was like writing three books, my biography, manners and how- to. My goal was to show readers that anyone can have class. You can’t buy it but you can learn it. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth but my story will show that by finding the good in every situation, by being open to new experiences and by being receptive to the advice of mentors, I have learned to be comfortable anywhere, anyplace, anytime. This is much more than just an etiquette book, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin, making others feel comfortable in your company and learning how to get people in your corner.

After the Real Housewives of NYC aired, I was deluged with viewers’ manners and etiquette questions. As my visibility increased, I attracted the attention of David Vigliano, my literary agent. He knew that people wanted not only an etiquette book, but that they were also interested in my stories. He introduced me to publishing legend Diane Reverand with whom I spent last fall writing the book. This book would not have been possible without the viewers’ encouragement and inspiration and my amazingly intuitive publisher, William Shinker at Gotham Books.

In my book, there is a picture of two of my style mentors, John Galliano and Faycal Amor taken in the early nineties. Both of these men are huge talents who helped me understand that fashion influences how one feels on the outside as well as the inside. Imagine my surprise then when who should I run into at my hotel today but John Galliano! Talk about being at the right place at the right time. Since nothing happens without a reason, I believe we ran into each other today to remind me of the path I’ve traveled and the exciting road ahead of me.

Tip: Start every day open to being at the right place at the right time and good fortune may just smile upon you.

SMART Girls

2009-04-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

This week on the Real Housewives of NYC, the cameras followed me to the Boys and Girls Club at the 14th Street Y where I spent an afternoon mentoring girls in the SMART (Skills Mastery and Resistance Training) program. This program, for young women ages 8 to 17, helps build girls’ self-esteem and self-worth while emphasizing the importance of nurturing one’s own mental and physical well-being. I donate my time and resources to this program because statistics show that girls who are supported by positive role models and provided with information on the physical and emotional changes that occur during adolescence have less depression, teen pregnancy, and substance abuse problems.

I’ve had wonderful mentors throughout my life, beginning with my mother who successfully managed a household of nine while never neglecting herself. She was calm and organized and always perfectly dressed. When I lived in Europe, Princess Hohenlohe (Honey to her friends), an American southern belle who married a German prince befriended me. She taught me how to navigate through European society while remaining true to myself. She approached life with courage and wit and was a terrific role model. She understood what it meant to be an American living abroad and how important it was that I meet the right people and embrace European culture. I would not be whom I am today without my mother and Honey’s mentoring and love.

During my visit with the SMART Girls, we each wrote down five things that we like most about ourselves. I shared that I like to tell jokes; I’m confident and well organized. Doesn’t this sound like my two most important mentors, my mother and Honey? Mentoring does work. I encourage others to take time out of their busy schedules to help young women achieve life-long health and happiness.

Tip: Choose mentors that have qualities to which you aspire. Be courageous and ask for guidance from other women. By seeking out the best in others, we improve ourselves.