A Great Party Versus A Good Party

I mean really, aren’t hostesses supposed to be more attentive to guests than to what they wear? I think people are so caught up in themselves they’ve forgotten the art of good entertaining; introducing people to each other, making sure they have something good to drink, and above all making guests feel comfortable.

I went to a party one time where the hostess was so busy getting photos done with her guests that we were left without food or good music (thank heaven there was a bar). Music and food is key to the atmosphere and can make or break a party for me.

Just think if your next hostess were to break into song like the good old days when people gathered around the piano. My friends know I’m usually good for a song or two. And food is always a priority for me; I find buffets work best, as so many people these days have weird food preferences and unheard of allergies (and it’s a heck of a lot easier). Buffets eliminate having to sit next to someone you don’t really want to talk to while waiting for your food to arrive.

If the hostess chooses a seated dinner, then I find it’s nice if the hostess seats me either next to herself if I haven’t been in her home before or next to someone amusing (dirty jokes come to mind?) Remember the good old days when people told jokes? One-liners are my favorite rather than those long drawn out stories, which only few people can tell and still get laughs.

Strategically, there is a way to invite so you have most amusing people mixed with the somewhat amusing and even then you may have to pick up the slack. And whoever says we shouldn’t talk religion or politics? I find these conversations to be the most heated and fun of all because you learn a lot more, especially about couples. When in doubt about what to talk about there is always the weather or traffic, which are boring, unless it’s a story from hell about driving through a storm. It’s always fun to gossip about people but keep it to minimum and make sure it’s good gossip, not mean gossip... you know the difference, right?

Tip: Socialize with everyone. Your job is to help the hostess create a party atmosphere. I can’t wait for the next dinner party!

Summer Camp

I think I suffered more than my kids ever did when I sent them off to camp for the first time. I lost more sleep than any kid who suffers from the worst case of homesickness. Just when I thought they couldn’t live without me; I found that they actually could (with someone else playing Nurse Ratched). Just minutes ago I was telling them to put their napkins on their laps for the millionth time and cleaning up spilt milk from the floor and now I’m sending them away for a month without me.

Is camp really that good for them? My daughter, in her fight not to go said “just look at bleep, she talks back to her mom since she’s gone to camp.” I rebuffed with “once a talker backer always a talker backer.” I mean obviously there were some issues with this girl before she packed her pistols for camp, or did camp foster her defiant attitude?

What do I know about camp? Absolutely nothing, I grew up with six brothers and sisters. Who needed camp when you could get hit in the face with a baseball at home? So this is what happened. Two weeks into camp I got my children’s call asking to come home early (my new found peace soon to be taken away, not to mention $15,000 in fees later). I considered my options. After all, camp is not punishment, it’s supposed to be fun, right?

The kids stayed the whole month and survived the experience. I think in the end it’s important to tame children in a world where they seem to run around telling the gate keepers what to do and where to go. Let someone else be the bad guy for a while. Let them learn how to live amongst their peers and pick up after them selves while you’re at it. Let them be appreciative of where they live so they can understand that one doesn’t always do what one wants, a lesson I think is important to learn. I do understand why they haven’t gone back to camp this summer. Who would want to leave this glorious zoo called the Hamptons after all?

Beach Etiquette

When I was in St. Tropez last week, I brought my kids to the beach and they commented on the women who tend to go topless. It’s very hard when you’re in a foreign country to really know what to expect when you go to the beach. What I do know is that my 12-year old son Noel was totally not into looking at the sagging breasts of some of the older women basking in the sun.

To address any confusion about public nudity, I explained to my kids that in France it’s quite customary for women to go topless on the beach and that they have to be open-minded. I'll never forget the first time I was guilted into going topless. I was 23 at the time and living in Italy (where it is also not unusual to go topless) and I looked like a weirdo with the only top on the beach. So I took it off and you know what? It was liberating! When you speak to your children about these customs, I find the Adam and Eve story comes in handy.

What a great time to be free and back in Europe. I got to practice my French (which one needs to practice once in a while). The ocean was like the Caribbean, beautiful, clear turquoise water and no jellyfish. Yeah!! I spent a lot of time on the beach and thought how it’s funny that no matter where you are, America, Europe or Asia the same rules still apply when it comes to beach etiquette. Here are some tips to make the most of out of your next beach day:

1. Know your beach before you go. Some beaches are conservative, for singles, family-oriented, clothes optional or nudist. Choose your beach wisely so you don’t encounter any surprises, pleasant or otherwise.
2. Wear a cover-up over your bathing suit until you are actually on the sand. Choose a suit that flatters your body and that goes with the vibe of the beach. What goes in Brazil may not be appropriate for Connecticut and may even get you arrested.
3. In your beach bag bring sunblock, water, towel, a good book or magazine, a hat, a camera and a small change purse for your money. Leave your license, passport and other official identifications locked in your car or in your hotel room.
4. I believe in the five-foot rule when setting up your place on the beach. Make sure that there is at least five feet between your stuff and your neighbor’s. Try not to block other people’s view of the water and remember to set up in back of the high tide mark so you don’t awake to a soaked towel and your cooler floating away.
5. Noise carries on the wind so there is no need to raise your voice while on the beach. Also, keep music low enough for just your group to hear it. I know that denying others your amazing beach playlist may seem cruel but trust me on this, music is personal.
6. Frisbee, football, and beach volleyball are all great games for the beach but set up away from where people are sunbathing.
7. Shake out your towels and blankets away from your beach neighbors.
8. Leave only your footprints behind.

Tip: Do us all a favor, unless you are twenty or Eva Longoria, wear your cover-up to go to the beach bar.