My Tips for the Holidays
I’m heading home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. It’s a treat for me to be a guest as I normally host the Thanksgiving meal. I love going to my brother’s house because he fries his turkey. Have you ever had fried turkey? It’s amazing.
Having grown up in a large, boisterous family, the holiday season meant big family dinners and many spirited debates disguised as conversation. I learned early on which subjects would incite passionate discussion and which topics were to be avoided at all cost. For example, you mustn’t comment on your bald brother-in-law’s surprising new head of hair.
As my family grows and changes, so does the composition of our holiday dinners. This year will be no different. So when I read the NY Times on November 19th and saw the article “Duck, It’s the Holidays”, I thought, I must share this with my readers.
In this article, Mark Smaller, of the American Psychoanalytic Association, said he believes that holidays can provoke “temporary regressions,” in which parents, adult children and siblings, once reunited, revert to decades-old patterns of behavior. Realizing that this might happen, it’s important to remember that disagreement can be expressed in polite ways such as “lets agree to disagree on that” or “thanks for sharing your thoughts with me." It’s not easy to override years of role-playing, but it can be done.
My secret for navigating the holidays with grace and tact is to remember that my family will always see me in a certain way, most of it positive but not all. In the end, I am simply Luann, the little sister.
I am grateful for my family and savor the time we have together. I hope you enjoy the article and Happy Holidays! Stay strong!
Tip: Remember, think twice before you speak. Less is more.
Here's a link to the NY Times article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html
Having grown up in a large, boisterous family, the holiday season meant big family dinners and many spirited debates disguised as conversation. I learned early on which subjects would incite passionate discussion and which topics were to be avoided at all cost. For example, you mustn’t comment on your bald brother-in-law’s surprising new head of hair.
As my family grows and changes, so does the composition of our holiday dinners. This year will be no different. So when I read the NY Times on November 19th and saw the article “Duck, It’s the Holidays”, I thought, I must share this with my readers.
In this article, Mark Smaller, of the American Psychoanalytic Association, said he believes that holidays can provoke “temporary regressions,” in which parents, adult children and siblings, once reunited, revert to decades-old patterns of behavior. Realizing that this might happen, it’s important to remember that disagreement can be expressed in polite ways such as “lets agree to disagree on that” or “thanks for sharing your thoughts with me." It’s not easy to override years of role-playing, but it can be done.
My secret for navigating the holidays with grace and tact is to remember that my family will always see me in a certain way, most of it positive but not all. In the end, I am simply Luann, the little sister.
I am grateful for my family and savor the time we have together. I hope you enjoy the article and Happy Holidays! Stay strong!
Tip: Remember, think twice before you speak. Less is more.
Here's a link to the NY Times article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html
posted by LuAnn deLesseps
at
12:33 PM
0 Comments :
Post a Comment
<< Home