The Gracious Guest

As much as I love being a host, I adore being a guest when a great hostess is running the show! There is nothing like kicking back and going with the flow. I remember to acknowledge the effort and planning that goes into hosting me, beginning with promptly responding to the invitation and asking if there is anything I can bring or if I can help with the event.

Once I accept an invitation, I do not cancel unless there is an unavoidable conflict such as a sudden illness or a family crisis such as losing a pet. I am a dependable guest who a hostess can count on showing up. If you really can’t accept an invitation for whatever reason, call with your sincere regrets. Don’t go into a detailed explanation of why you can’t attend. You should respond to your host as soon as possible so someone else can go in your place.

Many invitations will tell you what to wear, such as “black tie” or “casual”. If the invitation does not explain the dress, call your hostess and ask. When in doubt about what to wear, it is always better to arrive overdressed. A simple black dress goes everywhere and will make you look chic and elegant. You’ll be the best dressed at the barbeque!

I like to arrive within fifteen minutes of the time on the invitation so that I can actually enjoy a conversation with my hosts before they become too busy. It is respectful to be on time. For a structured event like a dinner party, you should be no more than fifteen minutes late.

Here are some tips for being a gracious guest:

• Respond to the RSVP ASAP, no later than a week or by the RSVP date.
  
• Arrive on time. If you are going to more than fifteen minutes late to a small gathering, call with the “I’ll be there in five” line.
  
• Cancel only if it’s an emergency.
  
• Bring a hostess gift – don’t arrive empty handed.
  
• Socialize with everyone. Your job is to help the hostess create a party atmosphere.
  
• Participate enthusiastically in any activities suggested by the host – party games and singing come to mind.
  
• Offer to help your hostess during the party or for clean up (hope she’ll say no). 
  
• Discretely thank your hostess for a wonderful time when you leave. Don’t interrupt her on the dance floor.
  
• Call the next day or send a note to thank your hosts. If it was a real shindig, send flowers.
  
• Reciprocate your hosts’ hospitality by inviting them to your parties.

Tip: Never complain or explain. If you accept an invitation, go with the flow and participate enthusiastically.