Fine Dining

I love dining out. Last week, I went to Graydon Carter’s new restaurant Monkey Bar and had a wonderful time. The food was fabulous and the décor divine. The well-dressed diners didn’t drag their coats to the table nor did I hear any cell phones during our meal. The most elegant restaurants make you feel as if you are eating in a private home.

The Monkey Bar’s maitre d’ sat our party at a terrific table against the wall, which I prefer, instead of in the middle of the room. We had a great view of the entire scene. What do you do if you find yourself being led to a table by the restrooms, the kitchen, too close to a workstation or too near a colleague? Simply ask the maitre d’ or the hostess if another table is available. If possible, most restaurants will try to accommodate you. When you make the reservation ask for a table in the location you want – on the terrace, in the front room or the back, upstairs or down, perhaps a booth.

I’ll never forget the time I was dining with my father-in-law, Victor Comte de Lesseps, an ambassador and gourmand, at the Amstel in The Hague. He knew exactly what he preferred and sent back food to the kitchen often, much to our great embarrassment. When the waiter brought him a filleted fish, he lost his temper and shouted, “I ordered fish with a head and a tail. I want the whole fish”. Needless to say, he got what he wanted but made us uncomfortable in the process. It is better to discreet when sending food back.

Here are a few restaurant faux pas that you should avoid:

• Taking your coat, umbrellas, shopping bags, and briefcases to the table. Check them when you enter.
• Putting your phone on the table. Leave it on vibrate and keep it out of sight.
• Use your inside voice. You don’t want to disturb others, and you certainly don’t want people to eavesdrop. You never know who is listening.
• Calling out or snapping your fingers to get the attention of your server. If a quiet “excuse me” or a subtle gesture doesn’t work, ask a busboy or the maitre d’ to send your waiter over.
• Your purse belongs on your lap, the floor or on an empty seat.
• Picking up anything you drop. Just get the attention of the waiter or busboy and ask him for a replacement fork or whatever has fallen.
• Brushing crumbs or stacking plates. That’s what wait staff is for.

Tip:   Despite what your mother told you about keeping your elbows off the table at all times, it is acceptable between courses. Leaning forward a bit on your elbows shows that you are listening with interest.